Counselling Approaches

I use a trauma-informed lens when working with you. I support you non-judgmentally by creating a safe space for you to explore the negative beliefs which stop you from reaching your potential and living a life full of joy, happiness, peace and contentment. As we learn and grow as small children, we are creating a set of beliefs about ourselves, our place in the world and our relationship with the world. We create an identity about who we are, and what it means to be “me”; we develop ideas about our self value, and how we need to act and behave in order to survive and stay safe in the world. Often, our parents were struggling and for whatever reason, they were unable to give us the healthy, supportive and nourishing kind of unconditional love we needed.

Even if you were provided with basic needs such as food, shelter and clothing, your need for love, attention and affection may have gone unmet. This can create lasting and damaging scars. Perhaps you lived in an environment of alcoholism or abuse, and you keep repeating patterns which are not serving you. These could be:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Phobias and Fears

• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

• Addictions

• Lack of boundaries

• Inexplicable anger

 Perhaps you suffer from poor sleep, or you are suffering trauma, whether from childhood abuse (sexual, emotional) or from an abusive relationship, or from a motor vehicle accident.

I use an eclectic approach, combining elements of CBT, mindfulness, meditation, a focus on solutions, somatic awareness and, when called for, EMDR (Eye movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and also Internal Family Systems.

EMDR works something like this:

• First, I create a “safe zone” using imagery, guided meditation and mindfulness. This helps you to relax and focus more effectively. I also teach you tools for self regulation and grounding.

• You will identify the negative belief that is keeping you “stuck”.

• By deeply identifying and experiencing your body’s response to this belief, you can see how powerful our beliefs are and just how much they can negatively impact our response to life.

• When you see clearly that your belief no longer serves you, you can easily let it go.

• In this state of deep relaxation you can choose an empowering belief to replace the old belief.

This simple process can rapidly produce profound results which may be life-changing.

Ask yourself these two questions:

1) Am I ready to change?

2) Am I willing to take full responsibility for my own happiness and well-being?

If your answer to both questions is “Yes”, then you are ready to embark on your healing journey with me!

Internal Family Systems works like this:

We all have different “parts”. For example, part of me wants to go that concert but part of me wants to stay cosy and warm at home. We all have many different parts.

These parts have different roles: some are managers, some firefighters, some protectors. Their goal is to safeguard a vulnerable “exile”, or perhaps there are many exiles, who experienced some kind of trauma, usually early in life. In Internal Family Systems we take time to get to know the parts and their roles, through somatic experiencing and when all the parts who showed up are on board, we can ask them to step aside and allow an “unburdening” to take place. This is a profound time where the vulnerable exile is safe enough and feels ready and willing to let go of its burden which may be shame, anger, fear, hurt, heartbreak. As this burden releases the exiled part connects with the True Self and this may be experienced as light, or joy, excitement, freedom, contentment, etc. The exiled part is encouraged to then call in any positive qualities it would like. The exile then becomes a more, healthy, integrated part who feels whole and healed.